


The Chatvengers

by MadsDragon



Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, IronStrange, Stucky - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-09
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-04-05 04:15:42
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19040947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadsDragon/pseuds/MadsDragon
Summary: The AvengersTony Stark (TonyStank)Bruce Banner (greengenius)Natasha Romanov (Spyder)Steve Rodgers (capsicle)Clint Barton (Legolas)Thor (THÓRÉAL)Saturday4:06 amcapsicle: WHY IS THE KITCHNE ON FIRE?!?!????!??!?!?!?!TonyStank: Science.capsicle: WDYM SCIENCE!!?!?!?!?!?/;l,cgreengenius: the intellectual and practical activity encompassing the systematic study of the structure and behaviour of the physical and natural world through observation and experiment.Legolas: I dont think he meant the definition..THÓRÉAL: I WILL SAVE YOU STEVEcapsicle: wait.capsicle: THOR PUT DOWN THE HOSE!TonyStank: DONT PUT DOWN THE HOSE THOR!Spyder: Why do I put up with you idiots….Legolas: BEcAuSE YoU LOvE Us????greengenius: THOR JSUT USE THE FIRE EXTINGUISHERTHÓRÉAL: IM SORRY STEVE!THÓRÉAL: PLS DONT BE MADcapsicle: … .TonyStank: Oooh, look who’s in trouble~





	1. Beter Barker

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [skate fast eat ass](https://archiveofourown.org/works/16289576) by [cryptic_potato](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cryptic_potato/pseuds/cryptic_potato). 



> I'm Australian and have no clue as to how America works. So this is all googled and guessed.
> 
> A few of the names came from other fics.

Disaster Kidz

Natasha Romanov (Spyder)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

Sam Wilson ( birdboy )

Bucky Barnes (wintersmoulder)

 

____

 

Monday

5:00 am

 

wintersmoulder: yo, anyone have a clue how 2 get blood out of a shirt???

Spyder: soak the shirt in white vinegar for around thirty minutes, then rub the stainas you rinse it in cool water. 

Spyder: do it again if the stain is still there 

Spyder: or you can try hydrogen peroxide.

wintersmoulder: thx bro.

birdboy: im not even gonna question how u know that

Legolas: its nat.

wintersmoulder: ^^ explanation enough 

 

____

 

Monday

11:00 am

 

wintersmoulder: I do not want to be conscious right now

Legolas: mood

wintersmoulder: mr thanos is being a dick

birdboy: so nothing new then

Spyder: what did he do

wintersmoulder: so its a normal class

wintersmoulder: im staring into the distance wishing for it all to end

Legolas: wow ok

wintersmoulder: then the fucking sun comes blaring through thw window and reflects off my arm

wintersmoulder and into the giant grapes eyes

birdboy: uh oh

wintersmoulder: next thing ya know it im being screamed at

Spyder: Permission to murder him?

wintersmoulder: reluctantly, denied

Legolas: The years nearly over

birdboy: yeah. well be able to escape soon enough

wintersmoulder: guys shhhh

Spyder: ??

wintersmoulder: this smol child that was chilling in the corner of the class just stood up and roasted him

wintersmoulder: ‘umm ‘scuse me mr thanos,but if you weren’t standing so close to miss Okoye then the light wouldn’t have been in your eyes in the first place’

birdboy: calling him out for being an asshole and a pedophile. Gj to that kid.

Legolas: a round of applause for our brother in arms

wintersmoulder: we got sent to Fury’s office 

wintersmoulder: his name is Peter Parker. Some transfer from queens

wintersmoulder: skipped two grades and now he’s a junior here

Spyder: lucky kid

Legolas: what’s his screen name?

wintersmoulder: ah shit.

wintersmoulder: he just left

Spyder: Idiot

wintersmoulder: ik

Spyder: no you’re not allowed to agree with me

birdboy: self deprecation is the norm in this house

Legolas: WAS THAT YOU SPRINTInG DOwN THE HALLWAY!?!?!?!???!

wintersmoulder: IM trYna CAATCH UP TO HIM!!/!!/E&

wintersmoulder: BE PROUD OF ME NATJ@M>#<J@OURBRFCzfng

Spyder: you’re going to scare him off!

Legolas: CHSKAJAGAasd NAT!!!! BUCKY JUST TACKLED JUNIOR TO THE GROUND!!!!#$%//

Spyder: OH GOD WHERE

Legolas: EaST HALLwaY

Spyder: OMW

 

____

 

Monday

11:45 am

 

_wintersmoulder added underoos to the chat_

underoos: where am I???

Legolas: Narnia

birdboy: wonderland

Spyder: Hell.

underoos: im gonna believe ms spyder

wintersmoulder: rude

underoos: you cant talk

underroos: you /just/ crash tackled me

wintersmoulder: tru tru

Legolas: anyway… Petey you’re obviously a dork with no life

Legolas: wanna sit with us? 

underoos: …

underoos: actuaLLY MEGAN I CANT SIT aNYWHERE

birdboy: I have hemorrhoids!

wintersmoulder: we knw u do sam

wintersmoulder: NAT CAN WE KEEP HIM

Legolas: pLS NATTY

birdboy: PRETTY PLS

Spyder: sure

birdboy: yiisssss!!

wintersmoulder: awww yea!!!!

Legolas: THANK YOU NATTY

Spyder: Youre welcome Clint

Spyder: Just don’t break him

underoos: I feel like im gonna regret this.. .

 

 

Science Bros

Tony Stark (TonyStank)

Bruce Banner (greengenius)

 

Monday

12:00 pm

 

TonyStank: bruciieeeeeeee

greegenius: yes Tony

TonyStank: wow. I can hear your sigh over text

TonyStank: ANYWAYS

TonyStank: you know my cousin

greengenius: you’re going to have to specify

TonyStank: the one who used to catch spiders as a toddler and sprinkle them on my dads bed

greengenius: oh. The one you used to babysit?

TonyStank: Yeah

greengenius: never mind. Still lost.

TonyStank: my godson

greengenius: could have led with that

greengenius: but continue

TonyStank: yeah well

TonyStank: He just transferred here from queens.

TonyStank: and hes  extremely smaaart and super sciennncyyyy

greengenius: yes. He can be a science bro.

TonyStank: awwww yis!

TonyStank: Thank you bruciiieeeee

_TonyStank added underoos to the chat_

underoos: wow

underoos: this is it

underoos: this is /the/ chat

underoos: I finally made it

underoos: this is the proudest moment of my life 

TonyStank: might wanna tone it down a bit petey

underoos: sorry mr stark

greengenius: hi Peter

 

____ 

 

Monday

12:15 pm

 

greengenius: Peter?

TonyStank: I think you broke him


	2. The Crush Song

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Science Bros  
> Tony Stark (TonyStank)  
> Bruce Banner (greengenius)  
> Peter Parker (underoos)
> 
> Tuesday  
> 10:06 am
> 
> TonyStank: Hush hush hush  
> underoos: blush blush blush  
> TonyStank: you are now my  
> underoos: BIG FAT CRUSH  
> TonyStank: Im single as i can be  
> underoos: Youre single perfect for me  
> TonyStank: im gonna give you a bunch of reasons  
> underoos: Why you should date me  
> greengenius: OK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's /always/ the left arm.

Science Bros

Tony Stark (TonyStank)

Bruce Banner (greengenius)

Peter Parker (underoos)

 

Tuesday

10:06 am

 

TonyStank: Hush hush hush

underoos: blush blush blush

TonyStank: you are now my

underoos: BIG FAT CRUSH

TonyStank: Im single as i can be

underoos: Youre single perfect for me

TonyStank: im gonna give you a bunch of reasons 

underoos: Why you should date me

greengenius: OK 

greengenius: I THINK THATS ENOUGH

TonyStank: :(

underoos: why the song mr stark

TonyStank: well

TonyStank: there's this one guy

underoos: ooh. 

underoos: spill the tea 

greengenius: oh. Is this stranger danger?

TonyStank: thats the one!

underoos: ??? ?

TonyStank: so theres this dude in my chemistry class

TonyStak: hes an asshole

TonyStank: so naturally, first day, I told him that

underoos: great start

TonyStank: THen he calls me a douchebag

TonyStank: next thing ya know it

TonyStank: Im whipped

greengenius: at least now I don’t have to take the full brunt of the crush gushing

underoos: whats his name

TonyStank: Stephen strange

underoos: …

underoos: no really

underoos: what is it

TonyStank: …

underoos: wait

underoos: ur serious??/?

TonyStank: Sadly,,,

greengenius: ikr

greengenius: /the/ weirdest name

TonyStank: you’re one to talk mr ‘Im dating the jackass numbskull Thor freaking odinson’

underoos: aren’t you friends w/ him?

TonyStank: yes, and??

greengenius: He’s smarter than he lets on, Tones.

greengenius: and hes not a jackass

greengenius: hes considerate and respectful and funny and the most adorable person alive

TonyStank: so what about you beter

TonyStank: anyone cute catch my little spiderlings eye?

underoos: well.

greengenius: BRUCE BANNER IS THE REAL MOST ADORABLE PERSON TO EVER EXIST

greengenius: I AM SO GAY FOR HIM

greengenius: I MEAN THOR IS SO GAY FOR HIM*****

TonyStank: THOR I STG GIVE MY BRUCE HIS PHONE BACK

greengenius: I SHAN”T

TonyStank: GIVE.IT.BACK 

greengenius: MAKE ME

underoos: oh gods

 

The Avengers

Tony Stark (TonyStank)

Bruce Banner (greengenius)

Steve Rogers (capsicle)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

Thor (THÓRÉAL)

 

Tuesday

10:10 am

 

capsicle: Why is Tony chasing Thor around the football field?

Legolas: not a clue my dude

TonyStank: HE STOLE MY BRUCEY//;EB>RR@B%*$

THÓRÉAL: I WILL WIN HIS AFFECTION

TonyStank: NO YOU WON”T

greengenius: halp

greengenius: Im on the stands watching

Legolas: im getting flashbacks to history

capsicle: dont hurt each other

capsicle: I dont have the mental capacity to deal with any medical emergencies today

THÓRÉAL: TOO LATE

TonyStank: WHAT THE FUCK THOR

greengenius: oh shit

capsicle: language

capsicle: I’m coming out

TonyStank: about time

capsicle: outside you idiot

greengenius: I think its broken

Legolas: which body part is it this time??

greengenius: left arm

Legolas: again??

TonyStank: THOR YOU DUMB JOCK

greengenius: ksjhohfk sgodslh

TonyStank: WHY ISIT ALWAYS THE LEFT ARM

TonyStank: WHY!!!!!#!@@!!#!/

THÓRÉAL: IM SO SORRY

TonyStark: I HEARD

greengenius: steve 

greengenius: ambulance

capsicle: on it

 

____

 

Tuesday

10:48 am

 

Legolas: at least you got to miss calculus 

greengenius: yeah mr thanos didn’t get to torture you today

TonyStank: I guess thats a good thing 

THÓRÉAL: I apologise

TonyStank: Its all g

TonyStank: i love using up my dads money for pointless things anyway

greangenius: Tony no…

capsicle: why can we never just have a nice day

 

Disaster Kidz

Natasha Romanov (Spyder)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

Sam Wilson (birdboy)

Bucky Barnes (wintersmoulder)

Peter Parker (underoos)

 

Tuesday

10:53 am

 

Spyder: mr Schmidt is going to die

Legolas: dont do that to me

Legolas: dont give me hope

wintersmoulder: she placed thumb tacks on his chair

Spyder: now im just patiently awaiting his demise

underoos: be careful ms nat

wintersmoulder: mr schmidt’s the one who should be careful

birdboy: hey guys

birdboy: anyone mind telling me what the hickety heck an ambulance was doing at school

Legolas: Tony broke his arm

Legolas: correction, /thor/ broke tony’s arm

birdboy: quarterback Thor?

Spyder: do you know another Thor??

wintersmoulder: how the hell did that happen

Legolas: thor stole bruce’s phone

Legolas: then he stole bruce from tony

Legolas: and then BOOM they’re having a tournament for his affection

Spyder: This entire school is too chaotic for its own good

wintersmoulder: ^^

underoos: wait. Mr stark broke his arm???

birdboy: yeah????

Spyder: hold up ‘mr stark’ ?

wintersmoulder: explain

underoos: oh yeah

underoos: tony’s my cousin

underoos: and godfather

Legolas: Im calling bullshit

wintersmoulder: why didn’t you mention sooner

underoos: it never came up??

wintersmoulder: clit, youre in a chat w/tony right?

Legolas: …

Legolas: yeah…

wintersmoulder: then ask the rich bitch

Spyder: youre one to talk

wintersmoulder: shut up

underoos: mr bucky

underoos: are you doubting my reliability

winersmoulder: yes. 

birdboy: wow

Legolas: gimme a sec

 

The Avengers

Tony Stark (TonyStank)

Bruce Banner (greengenius)

Steve Rogers (capsicle)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

Thor (THÓRÉAL)

 

Tuesday

11:00 am

 

Legolas: yo, tony

TonyStank: aren’t you in class??

Legolas: aren’t you?

TonyStank: Touché

TonyStank: wassup?

Legolas: u know Peter Parker

TonyStank: yeah hes my godson

TonyStank: why?

Legolas: cool beans

TonyStank: Clint?

greengenius: I think he left

capsicle: you have a godson????

capsicle: Tony?

greengenius: I think he left too

 

Disaster Kidz

Natasha Romanov (Spyder)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

Sam Wilson (birdboy)

Bucky Barnes (wintersmoulder)

Peter Parker (underoos)

 

Tuesday

10:01 am

Legolas: the spider child is telling the truth

underoos: not to say I told you so

underoos: but I told you so 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Odinsons next chapter. Promise.


	3. Twink to Twunk

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Odinsons  
> Thor (THÓRÉAL)  
> Loki (godofknives)  
> Hela (youregoingtohela)  
> Bruce Banner (greengenius)
> 
> Friday  
> 1:26 pm
> 
> youregoingtohela: LOKI YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SHIT  
> godofknives: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I DID BITCH  
> greengenius: oh dear  
> youregoingtohela: WHO ELSE WOULD PUT 15 FUCKING SNAKES IN MY BED?!??!???!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who binge-watched The Good Place till 6 am this morning?  
> This Girl!  
> ...I regret everything...

The Odinsons

Thor (THÓRÉAL)

Loki (godofknives)

Hela (youregoingtohela)

Bruce Banner (greengenius)

 

Friday

1:26 pm

 

youregoingtohela: LOKI YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SHIT

godofknives: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I DID BITCH

greengenius: oh dear

youregoingtohela: WHO ELSE WOULD PUT 15 FUCKING SNAKES IN MY BED?!??!???!

godofknives: IDK???? THOR??

THÓRÉAL: DONT BRING ME INTO THIS

youregoingtohela: dont worry dick for brains

youregoingtohela: I know it was the greasy little excuse for a weasel

godofknives: oh really

godofknives: what colours are they?

youregoingtohela: yellow, brown, black and blue mostly

youregoingtohela: and one thats gigantic and multicoloured 

godofknives: shit

godofknives: jormungand got out again

youregoingtohela: come and get these little fuckers

youregoingtohela: THE YELLOW ONE IS EATING MY FUCKING HAIRBRUSH

godofknives: THOR NO

THÓRÉAL: WHAT DID I DO?????

godofknives: not YOU dumbass

godofknives: THE SNAKE

youregoingtohela: I told you not to name the snake after him

_greengenius left the chat_

_THÓRÉAL added greengenius to the chat_

THÓRÉAL: DONT LEAVE ME

THÓRÉAL: pls I need a little sanity in my life

greengenius: loki go get your snake babies

godofknives: ugh ok

greengenius: and hela, calm your shit and wait for loki

youregoingtohela: fine

THÓRÉAL: how?!??

greengenius: Maturity.

THÓRÉAL: I love you so much, Bruce.

greengenius: I love you too.

godofknives: ew

youregoingtohela: get outa here with that lovey dovey shit

THÓRÉAL: <3

greengenius: <3

godofknives: OUT

 

The Avengers

Tony Stark (TonyStank)

Bruce Banner (greengenius)

Steve Rodgers (capsicle)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

Thor (THÓRÉAL)

 

Friday

2:30 pm

 

TonyStank: I cant wait for college 

Legolas: same

capsicle: only 3 more months to go

greengenius: yeah but we still need to finish march

TonyStank: dont remind me

THÓRÉAL: stop

THÓRÉAL: im in social sciences and I would prefer to avoid losing my head to ms hill

greengenius: watcha doing

THÓRÉAL: a peel essay on the economic similarities between great recession and the great depression

greengenius: tony and I have already finished that

Legolas: course you have

greengenius: need any help?

THÓRÉAL: I think ill be fine

THÓRÉAL: thanks though <3 

greengenius: <3

TonyStank: im so lonely

capsicle: we all are

Legolas: Thruce is literally the only relationship

greengenius: not true

THÓRÉAL: scott and hope

greengenius: Peter and gamora

TonyStank: They dont count tho

Legolas: yeah, they’re not in the squad

TonyStank: plus they’re not as cute

capsicle: wowww

THÓRÉAL: This is Ms Hill, all of you off of your phones right this instant or so help me you’ll be working at McDonalds for the rest of your miserable lives.

TonyStank: Yes Ms Hill.

greengenius: Sorry, Ms Hill.

capsicle: Sincerest apologies, Ms Hill.

Legolas: Please don’t ruin my life, Ms Hill.

THÓRÉAL: :)

 

Disaster Kidz

Natasha Romanov (Spyder)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

Sam Wilson (birdboy)

Bucky Barnes (wintersmoulder)

Peter Parker (underoos)

Friday

3:30 pm

wintersmoulder: meet me in the parking lot

birdboy: oh shit

Legolas: death has finally arrived???? 

underoos: what took it so long?

Spyder: thats it. all of you. Therapist. now.

wintersmoulder: no you dorks

wintersmoulder: we’re going to Wendy’s 

birdboy: didn’t Clint get us banned from that place???

Spyder: He did.

Legolas: it wasn’t my fault

Legolas: that kid pushed in

birdboy: YOU DECKED A 13 YEAR OLD CHILD

Legolas: THAT CHILD WAS AN ASSHOLE

wintersmoulder: PARKING LOT OR ALL YOUR ASSES ARE GETTING WHOOPED 

underoos: omg 

underoos: nat just grabbed clit and sam by the ear

Spyder: we’re coming

birdboy: owowowowowowowohmygoshstop

Legolas: YOURE HURTIN MEH

wintersmoulder: thx natty <3

Spyder: yw

 

____

 

Saturday

1:00 pm

underoos: buckybuckybuckybuckybucky

underoos: What are you doing right now?!

wintersmoulder: Nobody

birdboy: he said ‘what ’ not ‘who’ you hoe

wintersmoulder: Same difference

underoos: omg

birdboy: Theres a cute guy in here

wintersmoulder: go get him sammy!

birdboy: imstraight

wintersmoulder: sure you are

underoos: ha

birdboy: no srsly

birdboy: come. Now.

wintersmoulder: I hear that a lot

birdboy: SAVE THE HOEING FOR THE BARISTA

wintersmoulder: ugh youre too far away

Legolas: your literally?? In the car w me??

wintersmoulder: too far

Spyder: just get over there

wintersmoulder: fine

underoos: come get your man!

 

____

 

Saturday

1:20 pm

 

wintersmoulder: djkhgklaghlakgg

underoos: u okay buddy?

wintersmoulder: shiiiit hes hhottttttt

wintersmoulder: why didn’t u warn me sammy???

birdboy: I DID

wintersmoulder: no. U said he was cute

wintersmoulder: this isn’t cute. This is unfathomable beauty!

underoos: bucky has a boyfriend???!!!

wintersmoulder: not /yet/

Legolas: wait im coming to seeee

Spyder: youre all idiots

underoos: u act like we dont know

Legolas: ????

Legolas: I know him?????

wintersmoulder: Who???? How??

Legolas: thats Steve rogers

Spyder: What. No way

wintersmoulder: no it isnt

wintersmoulder: steve is a twink

wintersmoulder: this is a twunk

wintersmoulder: no, twunk+9000

underoos: why am I friends with u people

Legolas: didn’t you hear

Legolas: he transferred to shield for freshman till start of junior and got ripped

wintersmoulder: wait

wintersmoulder: HE GOES TO MARVEL???

Legolas: yea

wintersmoulder: how have I not noticed him before

Legolas: he mainly hangs w/ tony and his gang or in the art room

birdboy: WE DONT NEED HIS ENTIRE BACKSTORY

birdboy: JUST GET HIS NUMBER

Spyder: ^^^^ listen to the bird child

wintersmoulder: ok

wintersmoulder: imma do it

birdboy: finally!

Legolas: WOO!!!!

underoos: GO BUCKY!!!

Spyder: Try not to screw this up

wintersmoulder: HERE GOES NOTHING!!!!

 

____

 

Saturday

2:20 pm

 

wintersmoulder: I GOT HIS #

underoos: !!!!!

birdboy: That only took an hour

Spyder: My little shit’s all grown up :’)

Legolas: yaaaaAAASSSS!!!!!

Legolas: I GOTTA GO BERAT STEEEVVEEE

wintersmoulder: NO

underoos: wow

 

Shield and Arrow

Steve Rogers (capsicle)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

 

Legolas: so steeevveee

Legolas: Steven 

Legolas: Mr rogers

Legolas: Steeeeeeb

capsicle: wdy want

capsicle: you know that im at work

Legolas: Look to your left jackass

capsicle: …

capsicle: what are you doing here

capsicle: where’d you hide the pigeons this time

Legolas: …

Legolas: U GOT A MAN

capsicle: SHIT

capsicle: HOW”D YOU KNOW

Legolas: HAHAHAHAHA

capsicle: JUST DONT TELL TONY

capsicle: CLINT

capsicle: shit

 

Thruce

Thor (THÓRÉAL)

Bruce Banner (greengenius)

 

Monday

4:56 pm

 

greengenius: hey Thor

THÓRÉAL: yeah?

greengenius: your parents are still out of town right?

THÓRÉAL: yeah

THÓRÉAL: they’re not getting back for another two months

greengenius: cool

greengenius: can I stay with you for a bit?

THÓRÉAL: your dad being a dick again?

greengenius: yeah

THÓRÉAL: you can stay over for as long as you like 

greengenius: thanks ill pack my stuff

greengenius: love you

THÓRÉAL: not as much as I love you <3

greengenius: <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanna let everyone know there's a reason that our favourite maternal-badass Natasha isn't in 'The Avengers' GC, and that reason will come up in chapters later on.


	4. Muggle's Devil Snare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Science Bros  
> Tony Stark (TonyStank)  
> Bruce Banner (greengenius)  
> Peter Parker (underoos)
> 
> Tuesday  
> 9:00 am
> 
> TonyStank: halp  
> TonyStank: I thnik im gonna combust

Science Bros

Tony Stark (TonyStank)

Bruce Banner (greengenius)

Peter Parker (underoos)

 

Tuesday

9:00 am

 

TonyStank: halp

TonyStank: I thnik im gonna combust

greengenius: u good???

TonyStank: Stephen wants me to die

greengenius: how do you figure that?

TonyStank: HE SIGNED MY FRIGIN CAST

TonyStank: WTH A HEART @ THE END

TonyStank: AND HE JUST,,,, SMIRKED

TonyStank: AND NO W IM BLUSHIN LIKE AN IDIOT

TonyStank: THIS MAN IS GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME

greengenius: u okay

TonyStank: NO

TonyStank: Fuck he makes me so mad

underoos: ???

TonyStank: He makes me /feel/ things.

TonyStank: and I /hate/ feeling things.

TonyStank: Ugh. Bruce, come shoot me

greengenius: No.

TonyStank: FICKIN DO IT YOU COWARD!!@##

greengenius: NO!

underoos: im cryin

 

Hell’s Sanctum

Stephen Strange (DoctorWizard) 

Wong (inthecrossfire)

 

Tuesday

9:10 am

 

DoctorWizard: I’m a fucking idiot.

inthecrossfire: This is new information?

DoctorWizard: You know the guy I like?

inthecrossfire: How could I not

DoctorWizard: I signed his cast today

DoctorWizard: with a heart

inthecrossfire: what do you want /me/ to do

DoctorWizard: Come back from college!

DoctorWizard: Ever since you left, I’ve been making stupid decisions

DoctorWizard: You were my one and only impulse control 

inthecrossfire: your problems aren’t mine

inthecrossfire: figure it out

DoctorWizard: You’re the worst friend. I hope you know that.

inthecrossfire: Bye, Strange.

 

Disaster Kidz

Natasha Romanov (Spyder)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

Sam Wilson (birdboy)

Bucky Barnes (wintersmoulder)

Peter Parker (underoos)

 

Tuesday

12:40 am

 

Legolas: where r u guys?/?

wintersmoulder: gimme a sec

wintersmoulder: quill and his gang are holding me up

Spyder: you need me to come beat them up?

wintersmoulder: nah

wintersmoulder: im all g

Legolas: wait a min

Legolas: Im comin

 

____

 

Tuesday

11:00 am

 

Legolas: OH SHIT

Spyder: what did you do this time?

Legolas: WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I DID SOMETHIGN??

Spyder: Just a guess…

birdboy: BUCKY PUNCHED PETER

underoos: Im good???

Legolas: nOT YOU

Legolas: QUILL

wintersmoulder: shitshitshitshitshit

birdboy: T’challa’s coming for yo ass

Spyder: are Salt n Pepper with him

birdboy: no

wintersmoulder: fuuuuuuck

Spyder: where are you?

wintersmoulder: south hallway

Spyder: ok, im coming

Legolas: get to the ceiling

Spyder: just don’t panic

birdboy: everybody’s heading to the stadium

Legolas: hi ,bete!

underoos: where r u?

Legolas: look up!

underoos: where 

Legolas: vents

underoos: wtf??!!?!?

Legolas: join me

underoos: …

underoos: k

Spyder: they’ll know its us if we don’t show up

wintersmoulder: shit we’re gonna get caught

birdboy: is there any way we can get in there without being spotted?

Spyder: Clint

Legolas: yea

Spyder: you know the vents off by heart right

Legolas: u know I do

Spyder: I cant believe im about to say this but…

Spyder: EVERYBODY IN THE VENTS WITH CLINT

Legolas: MY TIME HAS COME

Legolas: FOLLOW MEEEEEE

underoos: wait

wintersmoulder: slow down!

 

Shield and Arrow

Steve Rogers (capsicle)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

 

Tuesday

11:20 am

 

capsicle: what did he do

Legolas: wdym???

capsicle: you know what I mean

Legolas: …

capsicle: Clint, please

capsicle: Clint?

 

Disaster Kidz

Natasha Romanov (Spyder)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

Sam Wilson (birdboy)

Bucky Barnes (wintersmoulder)

Peter Parker (underoos)

 

Tuesday

12:30 pm

 

birdboy: …

birdboy: I cant believe that worked

Legolas: youre fuckin welcome

underoos: thank you clit

wintersmoulder: wanna go to Brooklyn zoo NY to celebrate

wintersmoulder: my treat

birdboy: bucky lets be real

birdboy: its always your treat

underoos: the zoo?

wintersmoulder: its our Clint celebration spot

birdboy: which means we rarely go there

Legolas: hey!

wintersmoulder: pls can we go natty

Spyder: you know what, sure

Spyder: Lets go

Legolas: YESsssssss

wintersmoulder: THNK YOU NATTY

underoos: oh wow ok

 

____

 

Tuesday

2:00 pm

 

Legolas: holy shit bete

wintersmoulder: do you have bones???

underoos: I think so

Spyder: im so proud

birdboy: are you actually nat’s child?

wintersmoulder: can you flip?

underoos: yeah???

wintersmoulder: do it

underoos: k

Spyder I stg you are all children

Legolas: we are???

birdboy: WOAH

Legolas: GO BETE

 

____

 

Tuesday

3:00 pm

 

wintersmoulder: where’s samuel?

Legolas: hes having a rough time getting out of the block pit

wintersmoulder: pics 

Legolas:  sammydying.jpg

wintersmoulder: BAHAHAHAHAHAHA

birdboy: YOU DONT KNOW THE TERROR OF BEING IN A BLOCK PIT IT JUST SUCKS YOU IN DEEPER AS YOU TRY TO MOVE. ITS LIKE THE MUGGLES DEVIL SNARE MAN. YOU HAVE TO USE ALL YOUR STRENGHTH TO GET OUT OF THOSE FUCKERS

Legolas: at least he's face up. the worst is when you go in head first. Ive been pulled out by my toes multiple times

Spyder: we went to one once when I was a kid. It took my parents 45 mins to notice I had been sucked into the void.

underoos: we had them when i used to be in gymnastics and i hated those frickers they scared the hell out of me

Spyder: how do we get him out?

underoos: dont try to walk out. get yourself horizontal and then roll out 

underoos: it works just like tank treads its the onlyway to get some traction and not get sucked back in. 

wintersmoulder: you heard it here first you un-atheletic fuckers 

Legolas: dont panic transform and roll out

birdboy: okay

birdboy:skdhjkha

 

____

 

Tuesday

3:10

 

birdboy: FREEDOM

wintersmoulder: AMERICA


	5. Sports Squad

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Untitled Chat  
> Bucky Barnes (wintersmoulder)  
> Steve Rogers (capsicle)
> 
> Monday  
> 3:00 pm
> 
> wintersmoulder: hey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long.
> 
> Life has been HECTIC!

Untitled Chat

Bucky Barnes (wintersmoulder)

Steve Rogers (capsicle)

 

Monday 

3:00 pm

 

wintersmoulder: hey

 

The Avengers

Tony Stark (TonyStank)

Bruce Banner (greengenius)

Steve Rogers (capsicle)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

Thor (THÓRÉAL)

 

Monday 

3:00 pm

 

capsicle:  x1screenshot

capsicle: HELP ME

TonyStank: WHEN THE FUCK 

greengenius: who?

THÓRÉAL: Steve has a boyf???

Legolas: YEA HE DOES!!!!

capsicle: UNIMPORtANT

capsicle: WHAT DO I DO

TonyStank: SAY HI BACK YOU IDIOT

 

Untitled Chat

Bucky Barnes (wintersmoulder)

Steve Rogers (capsicle)

 

Monday 

3:00 pm

 

wintersmoulder: hey

capsicle: hi

wintersmoulder: how are you?

capsicle: fine and dandy like cotton candy

 

The Avengers

Tony Stark (TonyStank)

Bruce Banner (greengenius)

Steve Rogers (capsicle)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

Thor (THÓRÉAL)

 

Monday 

3:00 pm

 

capsicle: IM SO STUPID

TonyStank: YOU DID THE COTON CANDY HING DIDNT YOU

capsicle: KJFJ@#JF:NF

TonyStank: YOU DUMBASS

 

Untitled Chat

Bucky Barnes (wintersmoulder)

Steve Rogers (capsicle)

 

Monday 

3:00 pm

 

capsicle: fine and dandy like cotton candy

wintersmoulder: lol

capsicle: and you?

wintersmoulder: underpaid and overworked

capsicle: same

wintersmoulder: I mean

wintersmoulder: you work at starbucks

capsicle: true

cpasicle: where do you work

wintersmoulder: hell

capsicle: so Kmart then?

wintersmoulder: yepppp

wintersmoulder: the kids that shop there are cracked

capsicle: Clint shops there

wintersmoulder: exactly

capsicle: hey would you like to go out some time?

wintersmoulder: sure. When?

capsicle: does tomorrow work for you?

wintersmoulder: sure

capsicle: cool. Meet me at the park at 3

wintersmoulder: see you then :)

capsicle: :)

 

 

Disaster Kidz

Natasha Romanov (Spyder)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

Sam Wilson (birdboy)

Bucky Barnes (wintersmoulder)

Peter Parker (underoos)

 

Monday

2:00 pm

 

wintersmoulder: I GOT A. MAN

birdboy: WE HEARD< BITCH

Spyder: shut up sam

Spyder: Proud of you buck

wintersmoulder: he really out there takin meh on a date

Legolas: Pics or it didn’t happen

wintersmoulder:  x1screenshot

birdboy: ha

Legolas: why you gotta attack me like that bro

Spyder: because you’re extremely easy to insult

underoos: oof

Legolas: I have been a loyal friend to you natty

Legolas: so why

wintersmoulder: because friendship is insulting each other 

birdboy: so we’re the besets of friends

wintersmoulder: no I still hate you

birdboy: man that’s a relief

birdboy: because I hate you too

underoos: guys, no

 

____

 

Monday

3:40 pm

 

Legolas: hey bete!

underoos: yessss

Legolas: where are you?

underoos: out for dinner with my aunt

Spyder: The hot one?

birdboy: the kind, gentle and not at all sexualised one*****

wintersmoulder: no becoming the kid’s step aunt nat

underoos: blease ^^

Spyder: :(

birdboy: sometimes I forget nat’s gay

Legolas: it’s because she’s sensible.

wintersmoulder: speaking of nat being gay

underoos: nice Segway

wintersmoulder: thx

wintersmoulder: hows wanda~

Spyder: shut up

birdboy: HA

Legolas: yeah nat, how /is/ Wanda?

Spyder: Hows Pietro?

Legolas: scuse you

Legolas: I am a token straight

 

Budapest: /nobody/ knows what happened

Natasha Romanov (Spyder)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

 

Monday

3:40 pm

 

Spyder: sorry

Legolas: its fine

Legolas: ill tell them soon I promise

 

Disaster Kidz

Natasha Romanov (Spyder)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

Sam Wilson (birdboy)

Bucky Barnes (wintersmoulder)

Peter Parker (underoos)

 

Monday

3:40

 

Spyder: Hows Pietro?

Legolas: scuse you

Legolas: I am a token straight

wintersmoulder: sure you are clit

birdboy: leave my straight bro alone!

wintersmoulder: who?

underoos: that’s it. I muting the chat.

Spyder: We don’t blame you

 

Sports Squad

Thor (THÓRÉAL)

Valkyrie/Brunnhilde (Vodkawarrior)

Pietro Maximof (SpeedyGonzalez)

Sam Wilson (birdboy)

 

Wednesday

6: 20 am

 

birdboy: ITS WEDNESDAY MY DUDES

Vodkawarrior: YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS

THÓRÉAL: WE HAVE A FOOTBALL GAME

birdboy: DAMN RIGHT WE DO

THÓRÉAL: PIETRO, HAVE YOU GONE ON YOU MORNING RUN YET???

SpeedyGonzalez: yes

SpeedyGonzalez: you know I go at 5

THÓRÉAL: WHERE

SpeedyGonzalez: usual track

THÓRÉAL: IM COMIN

birdboy: ^^ what he says to bruce every Saturday night

Vodkawarrior: thats my bro youre talking about

birdboy: im sorry

birdboy: pls dont hurt me

SpeedyGonzalez: HOLY SHIT

SpeedyGonzalez: IS THAT YOU??/??

THÓRÉAL: YESSSSSS

Vodkawarrior: dont crush him

Vodkawarrior: you’ve already broken stark’s arm

THÓRÉAL: twas. an. accident.

SpeedyGonzalez: Get off phone or youre not running with me

THÓRÉAL: ok im sorry

birdboy: WHAT TEAM?!

Vodkawarrior: NATIVE UNDOMESTICATED CATS

THÓRÉAL: MILDY ANTAGONISTIC FELINES

SpeedyGonzalez: GETCHA HEAD IN THE GAME

THÓRÉAL: IM NOT ENTIRELY SURE IF MY HEAD CAN FIT IN AN INTANGIBLE CONCEPT

SpeedyGonzalez: DO ANYWAYS

birdboy: THIS ISNT FUCKIN HIGH SCHOOL MUSICAL!!!!

 

The Avengers

Tony Stark (TonyStank)

Bruce Banner (greengenius)

Steve Rogers (capsicle)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

Thor (THÓRÉAL)

 

Wednesday

8:40 am

 

TonyStank: Why is it that whenever we screw someone we talk about them like they’re a piece of wood?

greengenius: ’I nailed her’

THÓRÉAL: ’I drilled her’

capsicle: ’I sanded her down’

TonyStank: Its all DIY termonology

THÓRÉAL: I love the fact that we’re all saying ‘her’ like we’re straight

Legolas: Me excluded

TonyStank: we get it. youre straight.

greengenius: thooorrrr

THÓRÉAL: Yes my love?

TonyStank: gag

Legolas: Get a room.

greengenius: rude

greengenius: You know your siblings?

THÓRÉAL: I wish I didn’t

THÓRÉAL: But, yes?

greengenius: They may or may not have painted a lil somthin on the football field

THÓRÉAL: …

 

The Odinsons

Thor (THÓRÉAL)

Loki (godofknives)

Hela (youregoingtohela)

Bruce Banner (greengenius)

 

Wednesday

8:40 am

 

THÓRÉAL: WHAT THE FUCK GUYS

godofknives: I did nothing

youregoingtohela: It was the will of the gods

THÓRÉAL: TEH WILL OF THE GODS WAS TO HAVE “THOR SUX’ WRITTEN ON THE FOOTBALL FIELD?!?!?!

godofknives: yes

THÓRÉAL: NO

greengenius: thor

youregoingtohela: did you see the painting?

THÓRÉAL: WHAT PAINTING?!?!?!?!

godofknives: It took me so long

godofknives: look at the score board

THÓRÉAL: LOKI!!!!!!!!!! 

godofknives: i know, I know

godofknives: its gorgeous

THÓRÉAL: WHY MUST YOU DO THIS WITH YOUR TALENTS BROTHER

THÓRÉAL: YOU COULD BE THE NEXT VAN GOGH

THÓRÉAL: INSTEAD YOU CHOOSE TO PAINT ME WITH A CUCUMBER UP MY NOSE TRYING TO FIGHT ENRAGED BALD EAGLES WITH A BAGUETTE?!?!?!?!?!?!

youregoingtohela: Bruce likes it

THÓRÉAL: BRUCE

greengenius: what?

greengenius: he really managed to capture your essence

THÓRÉAL: I’M NEVER TALKING TO ANY OF YOU EVER AGAIN!

godofknives: thank the gods

youregoingtohela: Promise?

THÓRÉAL: UGH

 

Disaster Kidz

Natasha Romanov (Spyder)

Clint Barton (Legolas)

Sam Wilson (birdboy)

Bucky Barnes (wintersmoulder)

Peter Parker (underoos)

 

Wednesday

11:00 am

 

wintersmoulder: have they managed to scrub the art off yet?

Spyder: They’ve half finished

birdboy: Thor’s cucumber nose is still up there

underoos: they should leave it there

underoos: you know

underoos: for the sake of artistic talent

Legolas: Who’s coming to the game tonight?

birdboy: me

Legolas: not you dork

wintersmoulder: he’s tryna rub in the fact that he’s on the football team

Legolas: I know that!!!

Legolas: Anyone else

Spyder: I am

underoos: me too

wintersmoulder: I have a date sooooo

underoos: oh yeah!

birdboy: I completely forgot about that

wintersmoulder: thanks

wintersmoulder: Who are we versing???

Legolas: DC high 

Spyder: So Tony’s going then?

Legolas: yep

birdboy: bring your camera

birdboy: there’s gonna be blood

underoos: ???

underoos: oh is this because of his thing with Thomas’s kid???

wintersmoulder: I hate the fact that youre on a first name basis with his dad

Legolas: yeah

Legolas: /other/ bruce

Spyder: …

Legolas: Sorry nat

wintersmoulder: Shit

wintersmoulder: Sorry natty

birdboy: you 2 are idiots

Spyder: it’s cool

Spyder: that was years ago anyway

Spyder: I have to finish this project now.

Spyder: Bye.

Legolas: oh no

wintersmoulder: shit

birdboys: idiots.

underoos: im so confused.

 

Sports Squad

Thor (THÓRÉAL)

Valkyrie/Brunnhilde (Vodkawarrior)

Pietro Maximof (SpeedyGonzalez)

Sam Wilson (birdboy)

 

Wednesday

3:30 pm

 

birdboy: ok lets try this again

birdboy: WHAT TEAM?

THÓRÉAL: HEROES!

Vodkawarrior: HEROES!!!!!

SpeedyGonzalez: HEROES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

birdboy: YES!

birdboy: LET”S GO BEAT SOME DC ASSES

THÓRÉAL: YEAH!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;)


End file.
